Roots

I may have said this before, but I'll say it again: I like how it smells here. When I left Minnesota it still smelled mostly like ice, but Oregon is a wealth of olfactory enchantment. Colors become smells, and this scent of life flows up your nostrils until the whole world takes on a heady, effervescent mystique.

It's weird how two and a half years in Minnesota have changed my perception of this place. It's as though life in the Midwest has allowed me to see parallax, and this new perspective bumps my experience of home up from two dimensions into three.

I think that's why I love traveling--the beauty lies in the contrast, the movement, and the shimmering lines between opposites. Only by stationing myself in between places, with different reference points, can I truly appreciate the full magnitude of either.

Right now, however--in this moment--things are still. It is the vernal equinox, I am home, and I am smiling.

Is it the sunshine? The tantalizingly opened doors of the library?

I don't think I realize how heavy winter is until it lifts. Now that the sun is really warm for the first time in months, there's something singing inside of me that can't quite escape... All of my words cracked open like eggshells and their contents are oozing all over everything, golden and raw and ineffable.

AHHHH.

It's 65 degrees in Minnesota and I want to run far far away, out past the windmill. I would run and run until I couldn't run anymore, and then I would collapse into the open arms of early spring, laughing.

Five more pages.
Then Oregon.
Then contemplation of adventures to come.
Then crocuses.
Then Spring.

Extreme Distraction

Giving birth to a paper is hard.
Sometimes I think I would rather eat lard.
Oh silly words!
You seem so absurd...
All of my neurons are charred.

Uprising

Tomorrow is the 50th anniversary of the famous 1959 Tibetan Uprising. The Chinese government is afraid--they're sending troops to the plateau.

Today I learned that I received a $4000 grant to go to rural Tibet to teach English in an orphanage this upcoming summer. I am in awe of my blessings, and am nervous to carry the weight of this responsibility.

I don't pretend to understand the symmetry of the universe, but it's there, and it shakes me sometimes.

And, on top of everything, I'm in the throes of finals... 7 page paper, 12 page paper, lab report, philosophy exam, neuroscience exam... I know somewhere deep inside of me that I can finish these things, but it means shutting myself up in the bowels of the library for hours on end, listening to Rhythms for Learning, making note cards, and wondering why I don't leave school and start a hot air ballooning business.

Weather.com is predicting a "wintry mix" for Northfield. I hope that means snow.